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The oldest and dearest friend in my life traces back to the hallowed halls of high school. Rasheedia and I clicked in ninth grade and have shared an unbreakable bond ever since. Then there’s my friend, Terry, from New York, a city where everyone seems to be moving at rapid pace, we connected on many levels and have been close since 2007. Despite these enduring friendships, I find myself continuously embarking on new connections, forming ties that are as deep and almost as profound as the oldest ones. It’s a phenomenon that not only surprises others but also fills me with awe and gratitude.
My desire to form new friendships doesn’t arise from a sense of lacking or dissatisfaction with my current circle of friends. Instead, it’s a practical necessity that comes with the territory of moving to different places, a frequent aspect of my adult life. Having local friends is essential, not as a means to replace existing friendships, but as a way to explore new surroundings and share experiences with people who are geographically close.
How Do I Do It??
The magic, I believe, lies in my approach to these relationships. I don’t just seek friendships; I crave genuine connections, the kind that become an integral part of your being. I’ve always been unafraid to bare my vulnerabilities, to show the raw, unfiltered version of myself, and oddly enough, people respond to that. Perhaps it’s the authenticity, the genuine openness, or the willingness to share the complexities of life that draws others in.
One on One
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Often, my journey to new friendships begins with solo adventures. I step out to the streets alone, open to the universe, and in doing so, invite deep human connections. When I meet people, I can engage in one-on-one conversations without the noise of a larger social circle. I genuinely believe the most critical aspect of meeting new people is being able to chat without the distractions of others.
Find Common Ground
Additionally, I encounter these individuals in social settings where they’re indulging in activities they love, whether it’s during happy hour, brunch, or other social events. Our immediate connection is based on our shared interests and the enjoyment we derive from these activities, regardless of the presence of others. It’s as if our calendars align seamlessly; meeting them in spaces we both love to frequent allows me to establish instant connections. Now, I have friends I can join for brunch or happy hour, thanks to our shared passions and the environments where we initially crossed paths.
Go Deep
Depth in conversations is another aspect that fuels these connections. I find that people, especially as they journey through their thirties, are eager for profound, meaningful dialogues. Let’s skip the pleasantries and dive straight into the intricacies of life. We talk about love, loss, ambitions, and the relentless pursuit of happiness. Through these conversations, bonds are formed, and they provide a foundation for building our friendship.
Stick with them
Commitment is key in any relationship, and friendships are no exception. It’s not just about the initial spark; it’s about fanning the flames consistently. When you meet new people, often the idea of making plans is tossed around, but no firm plans are solidified. I, on the other hand, make sure these coffee dates, movie nights, or happy hours are on our schedule, and then we both make it a priority to show up and not reschedule.
Be Authentic and Open
Most importantly, authenticity remains at the core of my approach to forming new friendships. I enter these relationships with sincere openness, willingly sharing my experiences and being equally receptive to theirs. The cornerstone of these connections lies in mutual effort and respect; a balanced friendship ensures that neither party feels emotionally drained. I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have met remarkable individuals, and I eagerly anticipate the opportunity to nurture these friendships in the years that lie ahead.
